Lolcats
Ah, Lolcats, you have the prescription for the daily blues.
Yes, they’re purile & juvenile, and since they achieved meme status, many of the more recent ones are just plain stupid. But look through these below, and I challenge you not to laugh.
Quake III Arena
8 years on, and iD’s Quake III Arena is still the greatest multiplayer FPS ever. Sorry, but it just needed to be said.
12 Games For Windows
This is a reposting of an old entry from 2005.
With all the of today’s high powered games consoles and hyped-up PC game releases, it is easy to forget that there is an active shareware game development community online who are making some incredible games. These games are usually priced somewhere between $0 and $20, and offer just as much entertainment, if not more, than the commercial games seen on the shelf of your local store.
Showcased here are 12 of the best, though there are plenty more out there that are just a download away. These games are all Windows based, but some have Mac & Linux versions available too.
Solsuite 2005
Homepage / Download for Windows
Solsuite is a complete collection of solitaire card games (currently 424 variations). With customisable decks & backgrounds, and a detailed analysis of your previous games, Solsuite is a perfect time filler, or simply a nice way to unwind and relax. Mac users, check out Solitaire XL or Solitaire Till Dawn X.
n
Homepage / Download for Windows, Mac OS X, Linux
‘n’ is a fantastic and original 2d platform game, reminiscent of Lode Runner. It combines an awesome physics engine with simplistic (but very effective) graphics to make a highly addictive game that will have you pulling your hair out in frustration at times. Even more amazing is that the whole game is made using Macromedia Flash.
Enigmo
Homepage / Download for Windows, Mac OS X
Enigmo is a 3D puzzle game where you move various streams of flowing liquid so that the droplets get to their destination. Liquids (water, oil, and lava) fall from "droppers" and will bounce around the walls of a mechanism. You move and rotate into position various types of bumpers, sliders, accelerators, and sponges in order to divert the flow of the falling droplets.
Kyodai Mahjongg
Homepage / Download for Windows
Kyodai is one of, if not the best Mahjongg game ever to make it onto computer. Presented in either 3D or 2D, with loads of customisations, gameplay modes and the ability to create your own tilesets. The purpose of the game is to remove all the tiles from a board, which must be be removed in pairs. Any tile that is removed must be free on either the left or right side. The rules are simple and the game is extremely addictive!
D U O
Homepage / Download for Windows
A completely original (and somewhat abstract) 2D shooter. There’s nothing else like this out there. The graphics, sound and overall presentation is amazing. It has 3 different gameplay styles, and an array of configurable options. Download it today! Did I mention it’s free?
Gish
Homepage / Download for Windows, Mac OS X, Linux
Gish is a game with incredible physics and totally original gameplay. You take on the role of Gish, a ball of tar out to save his girlfriend (WTF?). Despite the premise, it’s an incredibly addictive game with loads of hidden secrets and many different modes of play, including a VS. mode.
Hamsterball
Homepage / Download for Windows
Hamsterball is basically Marble Madness meets Super Monkey Ball, but manages to be better than both. Guide Hammy through a complex series of obstacle courses while playing against the clock. Includes multiplayer races and party games.
Break Quest
Homepage / Download for Windows
Remember Arkanoid/Breakout? That’s the closest relative to this game, but that description does not do Break Quest any justice. Incredible presentation, music, graphics, sound and completely original gameplay throughout makes Break Quest a keeper. Mac users should check out DX Ball.
Mario Pac
Homepage / Download for Windows
Mario Pac is Mario Sunshine meets JetPac, in 2D. If you enjoyed the ZX Spectrum Classic, JetPac, you’ll love this. A great fusion of two completely different games into one.
Pocket Tanks
Homepage / Download for Windows, Mac OS X
Pocket Tanks is a modern remake of the older turn-based tank games that involved calculating and adjusting force and trajectory in order to strike your opponent (seen more recently in the 2D "Worms" series). Although it has a single player mode, it’s better playing against a friend.
Cosmo Bots
Homepage / Download for Windows, Mac OS X
A modern remake of Qix / Jezzball. Cosmo Bots is one of those games that you just can’t stop playing! It’s fun, easy, yet takes skill to master, and has over 500 levels of gameplay.
Revolved
Homepage / Download for Windows
Revolved is a unique puzzle game derived from an old idea. The basic aim is to rotate the fuses so that they make a complete square of the same colour. You’re working against the clock, to generate enough power to complete the level. Addictive, gorgeous, fun.. get it now.
Petrol Prices & Consumption
An interesting chart, from the Economist.
Photography Law
There are 4.3 million CCTV cameras spying on us here in the UK. That’s 20% of the worlds CCTV cameras, or to put it another way, 1 for every 14 residents. The average citizen is caught on camera 300 times a day.
Somehow we’ve allowed ourselves to be photographed more than any other country in the world, and to add insult to injury, we are questioned in great detail by police and security guards when we want to take our own photographs of landmarks, buildings and even our own homes.
We’re told it’s to prevent terrorism, but I would love to hear a reasoned and rational explanation as to how and when a camera was used in terrorism, and how preventing them from doing so would have changed the inevitable outcome.
And to be honest, even if these “terrographers” do use photos, so what? I imagine they use cars, computers, phones, and electricity. That makes pretty much everyone open to questioning. Right?
Besides, we all should know by now that you are far more likely to die of some more mundane reason like choking on a cheeseburger or being mowed down by a drunk driver. Terrorism is only scary because it has potential to be so much worse, but with a little perspective, you realise we just need to get on with our lives and stop living in fear.
We’re giving up more and more of our civil rights every day in the name of prevention of terrorism. Hell, I’m probably being flagged on a national database right now for writing this blog post. But I’ll let you into a little secret: there are two reasons why photographers are being harrassed and neither have anything to do with terrorism.
- Money & corporate greed.
- Fear & government control.
God, I’m really starting to sound like one of those conspiracy nutjobs.
I think you’d agree though, most good things are eventually spoiled by a greed for more money, particularly in the UK.
If you take a photo of a building or landmark, and then sell that to a stock library or other commercial entity, you are depriving the owners of that building of a potential source of income. This is why security guards are instructed to prevent people who “look pro”.
“Looking pro” comes down to four basic factors.
- Using an SLR camera.
- Having big glass.
- Using or carrying a tripod.
- Using pretentious words like “glass” instead of “lens”.
If you’re an serious amateur photographer (and there’s an awful lot of us), you can hardly avoid the first three points. The police will tell you a tripod creates a “health & safety” risk of people tripping. While that’s a valid point in a busy area, there are plenty of situations where a tripod can be used safely and represent no risk whatsoever. Besides, most of the people I know who have been stopped by police (including myself) weren’t even using or carrying a tripod.
Intimidating photographers not only makes the police feel good about themselves, like they are making some sort of difference, but it also gives the rest of us a nice reminder about the threat of terrorism.
Fear in the population is good. It eases the introduction of new laws such as America’s PATRIOT Act and the UK’s RIP Act.
Not a photographer? That changes nothing. This issue extends way beyond photographers rights into areas you do care about.
Drive a car? You should expect to be have your number plate photographed wherever you go. These cameras are currently used to track criminals, enforce congestion charging and monitor traffic flow. How long until the data can be used by private firms like insurance companies?
Maybe you’ve been on a plane recently? Then you already know what it’s like to be treated like a criminal.
If you use the internet, everything you do online is logged and accountable to you.
Or maybe you carry a mobile phone. Your movements can be tracked, every call and text logged, as well as an ability to remotely activate the microphone in your phone to listen in on you, even if your phone is switched off.
It’s amazing how quickly we all get used to this stuff.
Anyway, back to my point.
I think it’s time that photographers stand together and establish once and for all, what our rights actually are. With that in mind, I have submitted a petition on the UK Government website, requesting a specific answer to this issue.
We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to clarify the laws surrounding photography in public places.
Through history, we have documented the world around us, whether through written word, art or photography.
Photography in particular has provided fantastic insights into the past and present, and is a hobby enjoyed by millions of people worldwide.
But today, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to take photos of our surroundings, particularly in cities like London.
In recent years, the price divide between professional and consumer equipment has blurred, and it’s quite common these days to see amateurs and hobbyists carrying around tripods, SLR cameras and a backpack full of equipment.
Yet, we are constantly harrassed by security guards and police officers in the name of preventing terrorism. They seem to be operating under a different interpretation of the law to the rest of us, believing that somehow the length of your lens, or size of your camera is relevant.
We would like clarification by the goverment on the law regarding photography of buildings and landmarks from public locations.
The petition can be found here, and I encourage anyone who has ever taken a photograph to sign it.
Internet Certification
I can’t help but wish there was a qualification or certification required before people were allowed to use the internet (or a computer for that matter). Many would argue that the internet is all about free access to everyone. I don’t agree.
Anyone is allowed to drive a car, provided they can prove they are qualified to do so without likelyhood of endangering other road users. But if you allow yourself to be comprimised online, you are endangering other internet users. Bot networks, keyloggers, identity fraudsters & viruses are all things which are going to adversely affect other people around you.
I think every internet user should be forced to learn and understand how the internet works, as well as the history of how it came to be. I propose testing users on security (firewalls, anti-virus, phishing attacks, spyware, identity theft, avoiding spam), how to conduct yourself online (the forgotten art of netiquette) and general computer repair and maintenance.
It would dramatically increase the SNR on forums, discussion groups and email (much like how the internet used to be, 10 years ago). One only need look in the direction of commenters on Digg, YouTube or almost any online forum for a compelling argument.
It would render most phishing attacks useless, decrease the amount of spam and advertising we encounter, and drastically reduce the spread of spyware, viruses and other malware which spread online.
Unfortunately, the Internet explosion in recent years has meant that if you’re not on it, you’re a nobody. And nobody wants to be a nobody.
Of course, this is all just a fanciful and vaguely satirical diatribe.
Building a new improved internet, only accessible by intelligent and competent users is crazy talk (and makes me sound vaguely like Hitler). But sometimes I can’t help missing the good ol’ days when all the insane and petty arguments, which have no place in the real world, were limited to those people on Usenet arguing over Kirk vs. Picard. And instead of worrying about your parents getting their bank accounts hacked, you worried about getting your 9600 baud modem to dial your ISP using Hayes AT commands.
Time for my cocoa. Someone get my slippers.
Random Taglines
You may have noticed the random tagline that appears under the logo at the top of the page. It’s achieved using a Wordpress plugin from Digital Delinquent. I’m continually adding new quotes to the list as I think of them, but here is the complete list so far. Most are from films/tv shows/comedians/internet memes. How many do you recognise?
You did it, Nibbles! Now chew through my ball sack.
It’s a round world, last time I checked.
People who hate people - come together!
Well.. looks like we got ourselves a reader.
Going for that anti-marketing dollar.
Surfing on the lake of fire, rocking out.
PS. I’ll find my frog
him name is hopkin greenfrog
Save me, Jebus!
That rug really tied the room together.
My friend, you are entering a world of pain.
Nobody fucks with the Jesus!
Fuck it, Dude, let’s go bowling.
No words.. no words to describe it. They should have sent a poet.
Damn. Y’all ain’t never got two things that match.
How the hell you get fired on your day off?
Somebody set up us the bomb.
Main screen turn on.
You have no chance to survive make your time.
You are on the way to destruction.
Taisetsu no mono, protect my balls!
No-one is listening, until you make a mistake.
I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile.
You ever take it off any sweet jumps?
Didn’t you get the memo about the TPS reports?
Not eating meat is a decision. Eating meat is an instinct.
I’m drunk. I’m nobody. I’m drunk. I’m famous. I’m drunk. I’m fucking dead.
I just wish I could control these FUCKING mood swings!
News team, assemble!
We can’t stop here, this is bat country.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Like a trained ape… without the training.
Man, you’re off the fucking chain!
Everyone and their mums is packing round ‘ere..
If we don’t come down hard on these clowns, we’ll be up to our balls in jugglers.
Chuck your boyfriend, have a sandwich.
Defending the fantasy genre with terminal intensity.
I was like you once. Blonde hair. Scraggly little beard. Childlike ears.
Yeah, but Jar Jar Binks makes the Ewoks look like.. fuckin’.. Shaft.
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
I’ve got two TV Guides. One on the table and one in the bath-room. I’m rich!
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
God gave men a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to run one at a time.
These pretzels are making me thirsty!
My name is Art Vandelay. I’m an architect.
Oh, it’s got cachet, baby! It’s got cachet up the ying yang!
I’ve driven women to lesbianism before, but never to a mental institution.
If you’re gonna be a maniac, pyro’s not a good maniac.
Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, mushroom, mushroom.
Vulva turned me into a monkey! I’m not a monkey! I’m a man! A monkey… man!
Cock locked and ready to rock.
You’re like Mr T, but white and hairy.
I’m Andy McNab. I’m Andy McNab. I’m Andy McNab. I’m Andie MacDowell.
Derek? Babylon 5’s a big pile of shit.
So it wasn’t so much an Eskimo roll, as a case of rolling right Inuit.
How’s that for a slice of fried gold?
Obligatory clever tagline here.
Update: More taglines added 13th January 2008
Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.
Sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
Insomnia is my greatest inspiration.
When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS.
Pretty good. Pret-ty pret-ty pret-ty good.
Update: More taglines added 27th April 2008
Kif, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men.
Stop! The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.
In the game of chess, you can never let your opponent see your pieces.
London Area Codes
Attention London: Your phone numbers are prefixed (020).
Not (0208) or (0207), just (020).
I know it’s tough moving from 0181 and 0171, but those two codes were merged back into one area code (020) in April 2000. You simply prefix a 7 or 8 to the rest of your number depending on which code you were in before.
(0181) ### #### becomes (020) 8### ####
(0171) ### #### becomes (020) 7### ####
You may not think this is important, but it is. If you think about how area codes actually work, you’ll realise why.
It’s been 7 years now. It’s time you figured it out.
More information available at Wikipedia.